Presented solely for your enjoyment. Any resemblance to reality of any kind is strictly coincidental...
Welcome to the South Bristol chapter of SAWS,
the Secret Anti-Windmill Society
(But don't tell anyone!)
|The Secret Anti-Windmill Society (SAWS) is a non-profit organization (cause we can't figure out how to make any money!) dedicated to the idea of living a wind-mill-free lifestyle. All who share the dream of clear skies and unbroken forested landscape are welcome to join our organization. And once you're paid up, we'll even let you know where we meet! (But don't tell anyone!)|
|And now, for a limited time only, you can join this prestigious organization and pay absolutely nothing until the year 2003 with zero percent interest! If you join before December 31, you will also receive absolutely free, a beautiful T-shirt iron-on of our logo so you can proudly display to all your friends, family & cousins your membership in this Secret Society! (But don't tell anyone!) And if you can convince your wife (or girlfriend, or both) to join, their membership is half price (if joining at the same time or later than any current or previous member). Only one T-shirt iron-on per paid membership. $2.50 shipping and handling charge for all T-shirt iron-ons., free or not SAWS takes no responsibility for damages to the T-shirt , iron, iron-on or person in the application and/or wearing of said log iron-on. Do NOT iron on the iron-on while wearing the T-shirt! Use with adult supervision only.
Remember, Join NOW with NO interest!
|Also available in our gift shop is the weather proof (as long as you don't get it wet) bumper sticker with the SAWS logo and name (SAWS) in bright bold black letters. This is just the thing to show off your membership to all those old fogey slow-pokes on the road right after you cut them off in your pick-up! (But don't tell anyone!)
Coming soon in 2003 is the all new SAWS button. This 2 1/2 inch round pin-on button has the official SAWS logo in bright black on a white background. With our new button, you can proudly display your membership and support of SAWS no matter what you're wearing. Order yours today before they run out!
And please, if you pin the button on yourself, make sure you're wearing clothes! SAWS takes no responsibility for damage to the official SAWS button, clothes or wearer. Use with adult supervision only. (And don't tell anyone!)
|The Secret Anti-Windmill Society meets every other Wednesday or Saturday at the old barn around 8:00pm, depending on what's on TV and if the wives let us out. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages are permitted, unless you bring enough for everyone! Smoking on the East side only cause that's where the hole in the wall is. And make sure you bring your own chair, if you want to sit. Layin on the ground is just fine. You might also want to bring a blanket in the Winter cause we ain't got no heat yet. All paid members get the full privileges of membership including occasional use of the indoor plumbing and the full private use of our motto "If we can't keep 'em from goin up, we'll cut 'em down!". Bring your own saws! (But don't tell anyone!)
Other member benefits include voting in our yearly elections, membership card with the SAWS logo proudly displayed in bright black, full access to our gift shop (including 10% discount for all active members) and receiving our monthly newsletter, "Breaking Wind", that is just full of the latest anti-windmill news, how-to articles and the always popular column on how to care for your saw.
SAWS also holds various workshops and lectures. The next scheduled workshop is the ever popular "Care and maintenance of your saw" held at the old barn. This is a follow up to last month's workshop on "Sharpening your saw". Next month's workshop is a special three part feature on "How to tell a wind-mill tower from a tree and which to cut down". Those who attend all three workshops and pass the test at the end will receive a special certificate printed in bold bright black lettering on white paper that is suitable for framing, starting the wood-burner or the outhouse. Seating for this special workshop is limited and on a first come, first served basic. So make sure you reserve your seat now before it's too late! (but don't tell anyone!)
Previous workshops included:
The full yearly schedule for all workshops is printed in our monthly newsletter (see above).
|If you believe in a wind-mill-free society and want to keep it that way for our future generations and cousins, then make sure you join NOW! Bring your friends, cousins, relatives, second cousins, brothers, uncles, neighbors, and even your wife! If you can't make the meetings, your wife won't let you out, or you simply don't want to be a member of a secret society, then just send money! Remember, a wind-mill-free society is the responsibility of us all! (But don't tell anyone!)
And remember, if you hear SAWS in the woods, look up and run fast!
SAWS accepts no advertising and endorses absolutely no other business or organization, unless they pay for it! (But don't tell anyone!)
of South Bristol
In business for 37 years, on and off.
We may not build it right, on time or budget, but we'll shake your hand ,smile and take your money!
Call 555-COUSINS now for free estimate at very affordable prices.
Cousins Construction is a proud supporter of SAWS (but don't tell anyone!)
Country Cousins Recycling Center
of South Bristol
Specializing the the recycling of large amounts of aluminum and steel
Call 555-4cousins for a free price quote. Cash paid on delivery!
For every ton of 'scrap' you bring in, we'll donate 5 bucks to SAWS!
We buy any amount from 1 pound to a truck load. We absolutely will not accept any tower parts, unless they're already cut up into smaller unrecognizable pieces!
To get around our site, just click on one of the menu items above.
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